The sun’s rays fluttered through the leaves, casting autumn twilight upon the forest floor. The wind stirred the already-fallen leaves, creating minute whirlwinds dancing among the trees. A crow sang a song of blood as it circled above a dead animal.
As the last rays of sunlight penetrated the forest, a small white figure emerged out of nothing. It was a small, bone-white and lucid person, insect-like wings folded on its back. It looked around, and then faded into the air, reappearing a few feet from where it originally started. Other ghostly people emerged in the darkness, an eerie glow lighting them from inside.
The moon began to rise. The tiny race of people began to solidify, color bleeding into their forms. Many of them moved slowly among the dancing leaves, the wind buffeting their spectral wings and hair flying in the smallest of breezes.
They slowly began to form a circle underneath the rising moon, joined hands and began to dance into a faery circle. The spirits of the trees sang softly, a last lament before the chill of winter settled in and the leaves whispered their weeping. A bank of clouds covered the sky slowly.
The circle of faeries began to glow, and a beam of light shot up into the heavens, turning the sky purple and cutting a circular hole in the cloud cover, revealing a glimpse of the moon. Immediately, a strong wind blew, releasing the dead leaves from the trees. The beam of light stopped from its roots, and the faeries stood silently, watching.
Snow began to fall.
One by one, the tiny people began to fade into the air, the snow coming thick and fast. The trees let out one last, unsensible shudder, and fell into a deep sleep.
The last faery vanished.
Winter.
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Yeah. uh. ^_^U I haven't been doing much writing lately because of several RL issues, so this was just a "doodle" to warm me up again. :ducks pies thrown by people waiting on Geezer's Property and Bubble Picture: :notices one of fans hold a guillotine: Okay, I get the message.... :runs away from guillotine:* If you've read any of my other stuff, you'll know I hold a great interest for fairies. I find the idea fascinating and have written a great deal on the subject. No, I do not believe in them. No. Just...no. 
Comments and everything appreciated. 
~Sumi
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* I doubt anyone is waiting on my stories that much TT_TT
I liked it, it was short and sweet. I agree with the other commentators on the repetition of certain words, that definitely needs to be fixed.
Also:
"already-fallen leaves"
That seems rather awkward, perhaps you should find something to replace that.
Anyways, I thought it was good.
Prokaryote
"As the last rays of sunlight penetrated the forest, a small white figure emerged out of nothing"
I found this sentence to be a little awkward, almost as if too many things are happening at once. I think that comes partly from beginning the sentence with "As" and partly from connecting too many things in one sentence: you have rays of sunlight penetrating, a forest, a small figure, a white figure. I'd suggest dropping "as" from the sentence and connecting the two ideas with "and".
Also involving this sentence, the figure is described as "small and white", but in the next sentence, it is described as "a small, bone-white and lucid person". I would suggest eliminating one of these descriptions, especially because they are back to back.
In the third and fourth paragraphs, things are described as moving slowly in almost every sentence; instead of saying that the begins are moving slowly in the first two uses, I would describe how they are moving, what makes them move slowly, do they lumer, do they just move lazily, do they glide, etc. I would leave the last mention of "slowly" in, but I agree with Ofour's comment about word order.
My last suggestion would be to use the words "begin" or "began" sparingly; many things in this piece are described as beginning, such as
"the moon began to rise"
"the tiny race of people began to solidify"
"they slowly began to form a circle, joined hands, and began to dance"
"the circle of faeries began to glow"
"snow began to fall"
"the faeries began to fade"
The first two paragraphs show everything happening, drawing the reader right into the action. However, in the case of "the moon began to rise" I think that would be a good example of when to use "began" because it's a short, to the point sentence about something happening in the background.
I like the image of rays of sunlight "fluttering", I thought it was very tranquil. I also LOVED the description of color bleeding: "The tiny race of people began to solidify, color bleeding into their forms"
I really liked how the stories and images faded away at the end, just like fall into winter, and just like the faeries into the air.
I hope this review is helpful to you, let me know if you have any questions
Amelia
"The sun’s rays fluttered through the leaves" - rays can flutter?
"The wind stirred the already-fallen leaves" - you repeat "leaves" again too soon. The "already" isn't really necessary.
"The sun’s rays fluttered through the leaves, casting autumn twilight upon the forest floor. The wind stirred the already-fallen leaves, creating minute whirlwinds dancing among the trees. A crow sang a song of blood as it circled above a dead animal." - This paragraph starts off very happy and tranquill, then suddenly the words "blood" and "dead" pounce out at me.
"emerged out of nothing" - That sounds odd to me, there are many other ways you could have put it.
"A bank of clouds covered the sky slowly" - that sounds better as "A bank of clouds slowly covered the sky".
Very good. I really enjoyed this, it just so... simple. It is very matter-of-fact and I was left thinking "Oh, so that's how it happens". Very believable and entertaining.
Gurby
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